Unbearably Unspeakable .

info Eddie's playlist	♥ ♥ ♥
info Eddie's playlist	Yeah yeah, blah. Counters and whatever. :D	profile I am Joanna. I have a much much longer name but I'll leave it as it is for the sake of internet safety measures. I'd like to believe that I live a purpose-driven life and I very much like the nuggets macdonald's has to offer. Umm, yummy. My favorite color usually changes every three months or so it'd be incredibly pointless if I were to mention my current color of choice. They usually tend to shift to certain shades of blue, green and red. :) I find cam-whoring insanely embarrassing but that hasn't stopped me yet. That's about it. True, my opinion about cam-whoring isn't much of a clincher but hey, no one actually reads this part. I am a certified bubble burster to be. wishlist ■ Guitar/piano/violin lessons! ■ Be in the honor roll ■ ~~BNY tops~~ ■ World peace ■ ~~School shoes~~ ■ ~~Jeans~~ ■ Professional Camera ■ ~~Get PSP upgraded~~	I really really want this so i got it <3 116644877960873707 date: Monday, December 18, 2006 time: 21:32 comments: 0 TAGed by Diana Answer all the Questions below.Pass this to 5 people u know. [1] Favourite Colour?: Red,Blue,Black [2] Fantasy Or Reality?:Fantasy,but I try to grip to Reality as much as possible..reason i join Npcc [3] Last Outting?:Outings uh..Out with My Npcc buddies I suppose [4] Last Person you kissed?:hmm,I have never offically kissed anyone..sad [5] Latest time you went to bed?:uh...8 a.m? [6] Favourite Band(s)? :that would be My Chemical Romance,Everencsense,Red Hot Chili Peppers [7] Attached Or Single? :Single..goes one cornermessing with ya..but I'm still single [8] First love? :if love love,its be my pr6 gal,we lost touch.I love my parents hehe [9] Favourite day of the week? :Tuesday,Friday [10] Favourite number? :13 [11] Favourite month of the year?:that'd be January [12] First enemy?:Amin Jenid,believe he was also my 1st pal ever [13] Do u smoke? ;NO-alergic [14] Hated day of the week? ;SATURDAY [15] Last house you ever sleptAYS? :ur mom,what do u think?its mine :[Dsorry bout that..had to do it] [16] First Movie? :hmm,that be a JacKie chan movie,damn his moves are awesome [17] Last Movie you watched?:Happy feetI feel like dancing!dancing [18] Most Hated subject?:Geography..me no understand crap [19] Last Mall you went to?:Shaw Center Isetan [20] Current time?: 9:31 most luckiest people! 1)Mr Chaw 2)Mirawr 3)Nisha 4)Suhaimi 5)Farah S. Did you say something? invisible 116619692586421885 date: Friday, December 15, 2006 time: 23:07 comments: 0 Its amazing how can one be un noticible to others,even though how hard he tries to get her/their/his(i dont know why i put his but it only seems fair..no i aint gay back off) attention.Why cant we just chat like we did in the old days,having fun,making a fool of ourselves..actually out of me..and falling in love?why couldnt we just walked to the bus listening to my mp3 together?like we used to.I miss her,but deep down I know I cant have her nor anna molly..this stinks..si bei[damned] stinks..I'm wondering,where in the blue moon is my miss right?or am I mr right for anyone in this case?..I dont think I am..Some times I've been thinking whose my miss right?who are my true friends..does anyone notices me?other than farah and mirawr...haiz..kinda weird thinkin bout these things..ok heres the thing..sometimes i cry...i donno but I feel as if some one just tore my heart to pieces..and I feeling of letting it go..wonder why?stress or am I just a bloody emo guy?School coming closer..new people,new teachers,screwed....i cant sleep thats why I'm blabbering trash now...but there are interesting things happening,like me becoming flag bearer for CCA Fair,I got a jacket,a new sketch book and still confused at stuff,but I'm trying to mature myself...I'm trying my best,I just tend to get nervous and forget stuff at times..thats all. ~off "Even if I told you how I felt,you have a life,which doesnt include me..." Did you say something? Under The Bridge 116611024145481127 date: Thursday, December 14, 2006 time: 23:11 comments: 0 *Sometimes I feel* *Like I don't have a partner* *Sometimes I feel* *Like my only friend* *Is the city I live in The city of angels* *Lonely as I am* *Together we cry* *I drive on her streets* *'Cause she's my companion* *I walk through her hills* *'Cause she knows who I am* *She sees my good deeds* *And she kisses me windy* *I never worry* *Now that is a lie* *I don't ever want to feel* *Like I did that day* *Take me to the place I love* *Take me all the way* *It's hard to believe* *That there's nobody out there* *It's hard to believe* *That I'm all alone* *At least I have her love* *The city she loves me* *Lonely as I am* *Together we cry* *I don't ever want to feel* *Like I did that day* *Take me to the place* *I love Take me all that way* *Under the bridge downtown* *Is where I drew some blood* *Under the bridge downtown* *I could not get enough* *Under the bridge downtown* *Forgot about my love* *Under the bridge downtown* *I gave my life away* This is probably the most touching song I ever knew from R.H.C.P...I love it..the skin is awesome too if u guys havent realise.yeah its not that spiffy compared to Nisha's..haiz...today,I was officallu promoted to Sergeant.WoW..haha yeah,We[shao Hui,Atikah,Danial..he's sick..didnt get promoted but still Nco and me gonna take over the sec 1 squad next year..been harsh but what isnt?I realise...even if I loved her with all my heart,deep down,I'm a nobody towards her..I cant get her out of my head nor heart..this is stupid...why?Do I really like her?I dont know..haha..bloody tired and sick..even my Sirs saw that in me..I forgot to hide it... off~ "just as I was about to move on with my life..you came back..or you just didnt notice me and walk by?" Did you say something? Helena 116558644071293261 date: Friday, December 08, 2006 time: 21:53 comments: 0 Long ago Just like the hearse, you die to get in again We are so far from you Burning on, just like a match you strike to incinerate The lives of everyone you know And what’s the worst you take (worst you take) From every heart you break (heart you break) And like a blade you stain (blade you stain) Well, I've been holding on tonight [chorus] What’s the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight Came a time When every star falls Brought you to tears again We are the very hurt you sold And what’s the worst you take (worst you take) From every heart you break (heart you break) And like a blade you stain (blade you stain) Well, I've been holding on tonight [chorus] What’s the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight Well, if you carry on this way Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight Can you hear me Are you near me Can we pretend to leave and then We’ll meet again, when both our cars collide [chorus] What’s the worst that I can say Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight Well, if you carry on this way Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight... This song is by My Chemical Romance[M.C.R]second to none currently hehes well This is the lyric for helena,I was thinking to put lighthouse,you and me,but my friend reminded me how beautiful this song was..yeah its an oldie but that doesnt change my opinion of this song..I'm feeling better now,well after chatting to steph a few times hehes,dunno why lah,she makes u feel comfortable talking to her,she's a good friend..to bad she's at Jarkata though ;( hehes...Idoesnt mean I dont like my friends..I still love you all,well since u guys visit the blog,read but NEVER tag....haiz I dont know if your reading this la but F.Y.I I did this by myself..the original one was not good so I edited it like hell..there are still minor parts that needed to be brush,but I'll do that another day..well thats all for now,good night all "Came a time When every star falls,Brought you to tears again We are the very hurt you sold ""i love this part..." Did you say something? Sick of myself 116533471274074987 date: Tuesday, December 05, 2006 time: 23:15 comments: 0 I'm getting tired of acting of a fool.I'm getting tired of being quiet and staring into space.I can never fit in with the rest nor can I make myself stand out..I keep wondering what I'd do next.Make people laugh,be mean or just cry in on corner..I'm so sick of wondering if I truely love her..thinking she wants to hang out with me..but whats to..i'm just a freak..to be frank,who understands me?who genuinely wants to be my friend..and stay that way..because everything I hold dear is slipping through my hand,like sand,slowly and softly..I wanna draw out everything in my mind,draw out the feelings I have right now..I wanna cry and smile for no reason..I wanna get myself in check again..but I'm running on something..hope?love?care?I read something on the internet and i thought u guys might want to read it as well aspecially the girls..this makes me look forward to everyday even though I'm not a girl..just knowing that if there someone actually like that and loves me..I'd love her back as much..twice..so here it is By the time the Lord made woman,He was into his sixth day of working overtime.An angel appeared and said,"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,have over 200 movable parts, all replaceableand able to run on diet coke and leftovers,have a lap that can hold four children at one time,have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart-and she will do everythingwith only two hands."The angel was astounded at the requirements."Only two hands!? No way!And that's just on the standard model?That's too much work for one day.Wait until tomorrow to finish."But I won't," the Lord protested."I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.She already heals herself when she is sickAND can work 18 hour days."The angel moved closer and touched the woman."But you have made her so soft, Lord.""She is soft," the Lord agreed,"but I have also made her tough.You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.""Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.The Lord replied,"Not only will she be able to think,she will be able to reason and negotiate."The angel then noticed something,and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek."Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one." "That's not a leak,"the Lord corrected,"that's a tear!""What's the tear for?" the angel asked.The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy,her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,her loneliness, her grief and her pride."The angel was impressed."You are a genius, Lord.You thought of everything!Woman is truly amazing."And she is!Women have strengths that amaze men.They bear hardships and they carry burdens,but they hold happiness,love and joy.They smile when they want to scream.They sing when they want to cry.They cry when they are happyand laugh when they are nervous.They fight for what they believe in.They stand up to injustice.They don't take "no" for an answerwhen they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have.They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.They love unconditionally.They cry when their children exceland cheer when their friends get awards.They are happy when they hear abouta birth or a wedding.Their hearts break when a friend dies.They grieve at the loss of a family member,yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.They know that a hug and a kisscan heal a broken heart.Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail youto show how much they care about you.The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.They bring joy, hope and love.They have compassion and ideals.They give moral support to their family and friends.Women have vital things to say and everything to give. there's also something that reminds me,I NEED someone.someone to help me untaggle.. so heres the passage A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.... You're not pretty you're beautiful. I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever. And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...I need you by my side..always Their good arent they?I just felt like posting up.I really dont know what to do..Everything I do,turns out different,sometimes making me regret,proud,sad,happy.I feel sleepy so got to do guys bye.but before that I got something a friend told me and something I'd like to say "I'm in a tangled mess","just untangle yourself than" "I'm invisible to you arent I?Even if I am,I wont stop protecting you,loving you,making you feel special..not only to you but to our friends and my family..because you guys are the only thing I have left." Did you say something? what what now.... 116498548766127436 date: Friday, December 01, 2006 time: 22:45 comments: 0 i'm in a mess..and even though it doesnt show..I'm in a mess..why do things always have to get complicated?why cant you say"thanks for the ride mom,ur the best","or a big asshole,but I'm fine with that" or simply"I think I like you"...why is it so hard to cough up that particular words?I've been asking myself..is she worth it?she makes me smile..probably she makes everyone smile..hahax but now I really wanna know is do I really love her or is it because I think she's hot..thats all..nothing except for hormones..or is my heart telling me something..The last few days..I was out going shelleh..damned it was an all boys only..insults..video games..even farting..totally awesome day..than seconda day the rest of my relatives came we had a bbq..whohoo..learnt a little bit from my dad..He's a cool guy..but I dont think I can live up to his expectation..I can barely live up to mine...The next day..didnt feel so good so I didnt go for my NCO training and for those who didnt know..yes,I've become an NCO..not a good one though.. Just now had another bbq..was awsome!hahax..there were fooling foods and soccer..lasted till 7.30 bout there..than went to the host[Ariyani's ] house,rest for awhile and solat..I've been there a couple of time and her folks are nice people..very friendly..the mom even made us[Shuhada,Dyana,Diana,Suhaimi(e6),Irfan,me]dinner..nice..but I gotta head back home,was scared that my mom would yell a me..its was bout 8.15 then and was really dark..thought they'd go home with but in the end..it was me down a lonely lane hailing a taxi..managed t get one and went home..really tired..right now...but "what the heck"I found a new blogskin but kinda bland..better than nothing though..I'll update it soon..I got to go so all please take care..and i'd be a listening ear if u want me to,just ask.. "Is she worth the blood,tears,and money?""I dont know..I'm not ready""ready for what?""Everything..things are passing me just like that but I cant do anything bout it...I'm not ready to get back up.." Did you say something?	archives 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 recently crude... class assignment [2] blanks I hate being 15 my birthday is today.. love somebody currently..Damaged untittled Feared CCA Fair	links Arranged in no particular order. I just think it's a waste of time alphabetizing them (: Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D	contact me email: marielle_belle@yahoo.com msn: melody_clarie@hotmail.com friendster ~~blogskins inactive~~ blogskins active I've registered at xanga, livejournal, myspace, facebook, netlog, flixer and perfspot as well but they got awfully boring. before you tag I'd like to make a handful of things clear to all taggers. ■ Strictly no anonymous taggers allowed. (I will not entertain anonymous tags no matter how obnoxious.) ■ Vulgarism of all forms are prohibited. With that said, you may commence with your ~~nagging~~ tagging. talkbox Paste your tagbox here.