Unbearably Unspeakable .

info Eddie's playlist	♥ ♥ ♥
info Eddie's playlist	Yeah yeah, blah. Counters and whatever. :D	profile I am Joanna. I have a much much longer name but I'll leave it as it is for the sake of internet safety measures. I'd like to believe that I live a purpose-driven life and I very much like the nuggets macdonald's has to offer. Umm, yummy. My favorite color usually changes every three months or so it'd be incredibly pointless if I were to mention my current color of choice. They usually tend to shift to certain shades of blue, green and red. :) I find cam-whoring insanely embarrassing but that hasn't stopped me yet. That's about it. True, my opinion about cam-whoring isn't much of a clincher but hey, no one actually reads this part. I am a certified bubble burster to be. wishlist ■ Guitar/piano/violin lessons! ■ Be in the honor roll ■ ~~BNY tops~~ ■ World peace ■ ~~School shoes~~ ■ ~~Jeans~~ ■ Professional Camera ■ ~~Get PSP upgraded~~	walking in the rain.. 115703437801839125 date: Thursday, August 31, 2006 time: 21:54 comments: 0 Feeling depressed..seems to be everyday i have this feeling cant talk about though,so i'm gonna talk about teacher's day.We had the big breakfast where i bought 45 cans of soft drinks just for us to play with so Sean,Gabriel,kok Soon,Mr Chaw and I spray the hell at each other wad joy haha..than I think Sean or Julia go saboh Mr Chaw,his face got cake lers..hahahad tons of food and lots of pic but too bad cant upload them for u,newayz after that I decided to clean up coz we made such a mess scared there wasnt any time left to clean up later..so prod coz the rest wanted to help me clean up...left at 9.15.Peformance time!hahagot in my costume and guess wad I wore...Mr Silva..there were other cosplayers,Ong Keong as Mr Lim,See Wee as Mr Sin,Fatin as Mdm Puntiham,Nadia as Mdm Alfie and Hanis as Mdm Saleha..finally time came to go upstage and the momment I walked onto the stage everyone coz see my disguise easily eventhough I wore a mask lers spoiler sia..Well did a funny act and won 1st while ong Keong came as runner up waa phew..went behind the hall to see the rest of the peformance..specatcular totaly spectacular! but I realy feeling tired now days somethings getting to me,it'll be reality or my limits..there are so many times I almost drop to my knees.I keep holding my tears so many times.I bet there are so many bottles of feeling inside my heart. why do I always help those who always use me..eventhough I know there's no chance between us or a pawn for their life to succed..What about my life?Am I suppose to be a chained dog listening to different commands from different master all my life...?Even the holidays arent holidays anymore...if they want it so much dont cut my school holidays than...its getting so irritating that I have to spend all my efforts in school on C.I.P or helping someone and than getting scolded when I get back?Does god want be to bad?or Is the Almighty testing what I have inside..hopefully he's testing me..I dont want to scream or yell it sickens me to be bad...it hurts inside to know that I'll wake up and realise that who bad I've become and theres no turning back...I'm confused... the guilding light seems to hurt to my eyes eventhough I want to grab it so much Did you say something? broken yet there 115658571756846843 date: Saturday, August 26, 2006 time: 17:30 comments: 0 "who am I"thats the only thing that keeps repeating over and over in my head this days..I'm confused and tired...theres a side of me I dont want to see anymore..it practically scares me..it would scare other people as well I think..maybe thats why mom doesnt trust me anymore...i'm doing things I didnt want to do nor know I could...I missed my class family outing for my gun classifaction shoot which made me a nervous shit..god knows how I kena heat stroke and kept vomiting...reached home and could get up when i reached my bed....I hate myself..I cant do things properly get too over confident and also i can loss them all like that..its getting on my nerves no one can see me as a useful person..not fite to get this tittles haiz off now take care people Did you say something? they dont need me.. 115565621354086693 date: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 time: 23:30 comments: 0 its late but thought I'll blog a little...feeling depressed.Its been a horrible week for me..I'm such a lously leader and person...running away from my problems seems so tempting but things come out worst in the end..lost for words while my heart aches...a lousy person and a lousy leader..thats that nite Did you say something? have to decide 115539564450656999 date: Saturday, August 12, 2006 time: 23:02 comments: 0 I've change the skin..the previous one was kinda crappy anyway...I'v decided to enter a national art event.dead line?exactly next week.possible but no idea what I'm going to do..k next thing.... my lifes so complicated....gosh!i get into fights,found and lost friends,fall in love..seems to be non stop...get into fights and falling in love...but theres something I like..picking up people when their down.making them smile,their not alone in this world neither are they nobodies coz I treat people with the same amount of respect the want to have and I want to have...here's what I still long for,someone to share a hug,go to the photoprints together and all those stuff...even if I do get into a relationship..what to do next carry on with our life but treat our partner abit different?put her on your care 24/7? wonders...these thing just keep making me wonder Did you say something? NDP horror 115513251627947545 date: Wednesday, August 09, 2006 time: 21:46 comments: 0 woke up at 7 and had a stomach ache..didnt matter had to see Farah...had to tell her not to go to the sponsor so I reached at the Mrt station at 8.30 hoping to see her early,waited and waited till 10.20..also found 2 ic going..tried to tell Farah but she didnt listen...no choice had to bring them to the sponsor...I waited at the lobby for some reason.minutes later they came out,dissapointed...the four of had our lunch and went back to get the rest...began to be moody after that..the rest had their own group but I was alone..wanted to go home but sometimes..home isnt a good place to cry...fed up of waiting so I went ahead of them...took the first train to kallang...while waiting for the rest,gave some thought bout myself...I'm always there for people but why do I feel alone some times...there was so much anger in me..didnt know how to express them..later we were dispatch into 3 teams..my team only 3 people had to stay at the national stadium to collect donations..but people are stingy now day.. haiz so we manage to collect bout $3o.About $.30 we were called back to go home..my ankle was hurting by now...didnt want to hang around any longer..went home with Gabriel and Joel..Home was the only place I longed for..had my ankled massaged but the pain came back..no mood to watch the NDP so I'm going to watch the re-run I suppose... the more I talk the harder things get Did you say something? never ends... 115487836213023836 date: Sunday, August 06, 2006 time: 23:10 comments: 0 I cant keep it up nor get it together,I cant sleep,I cant cry.I'm lost for words.Things are always thrown at me and I cant catch them anymore,all my baskets's full and i'm tired.I'm not superman,even when I always act like one..Cant believe that within no less than 5 months,I've changed to a different person...I admit I used to be cocky and maybe still but I know i've changed...This change is wearing me down..dont know why..I feel as if its a duty for me,a big,heavy responsiblity...worst thing is,I dont know what to do with myself..wandering aimless through the streets..feels as if I'm two different person:one dedicated to his work,another finding the meaning of his life..it never ends...i keep fighting a war with myself and listening to wars everywhere...wars between families and friends...god i'm so sick of this...its as if it been repeating for decades and centuries...over and over and over again...same thing different story.. Did you say something? enough 115452816342743700 date: Wednesday, August 02, 2006 time: 21:20 comments: 0 I've been sick for this past few days yet everythings still in a mess I'm still confused during Mrs Kho's lesson.She likes to cut things short or change subject argh.Theres havoc everywhere,people keep fighting and back stabbing people and indifferent to others feeling.I wanna scream at to many people.I wanna fall to my knees and cry.I've had enough of this...I cant believe whats going on.I'm wondering everywhere,confused .My love for my family,family and class.I wont stop caring and helping for everyone.I still love walking i the rain,funny I didnt get sick when I walked in the rain in the past,I still stick to my principles.i wanna keep people smiling even if it hurts me.My mentors has finally return,the song is call unwrittened by Natasha Bedifield.it cheers me up lol.i've lost my smile though,how can i?if you had the problems I faced,you cant smile either.i feel so tired... even when ignorance is bliss,the torn in your palm will keep bleeding,you cant smile coz of tt Did you say something?	archives 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 recently crude... class assignment [2] blanks I hate being 15 my birthday is today.. love somebody currently..Damaged untittled Feared CCA Fair	links Arranged in no particular order. I just think it's a waste of time alphabetizing them (: Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D Link :D	contact me email: marielle_belle@yahoo.com msn: melody_clarie@hotmail.com friendster ~~blogskins inactive~~ blogskins active I've registered at xanga, livejournal, myspace, facebook, netlog, flixer and perfspot as well but they got awfully boring. before you tag I'd like to make a handful of things clear to all taggers. ■ Strictly no anonymous taggers allowed. (I will not entertain anonymous tags no matter how obnoxious.) ■ Vulgarism of all forms are prohibited. With that said, you may commence with your ~~nagging~~ tagging. talkbox Paste your tagbox here.