I used to be so cocky in the past.Thought I could do anything in my studies and still get A's..The girl from my past keep clinging on my mind.I used to think money wasnt a problem.
My futures blurry tough..cant decided what to do.Am I seriously fated to be like this..living in the blur or wondering everywhere yet nowhere?if We're to run away from what is fated for us,are'nt we fated to run away from fate?theres no escape if you see it from this point of view.but if you know what lies ahead or change what has been made,would you choose to do it or let it take its course?
School has been weird especially this first 2 days..people are keeping mum,others gossiping things others would want to hear and always the teachers would always change rules or styles of teaching.seriously their too complecating but thank god can catch up,hopefully it would last till time.
enough said g2g byes

I feel kinda sick,well other then running to the toilet every half hour,my heart kinda aches.theres the family rivalry and non-stop betrayel,seriously its a do eat dog world,everybody wanna be top.Then there are my friends.My best friends..One's turn into a complete loose evil nut.Another has caught fever...I hope she recovers..another has been talking about a boy who likes to scold her with hasrh words.what about me..I've lost all my sense of logic , creativy and skills to learn..call it depression..The music's not working for some reason..its underconstruction so dont bother turning the volume higher than it usually is..it wont work.kki said enough..byes and happy last week of holiday

**blank**

Meep..hahaz kinda sian(bored) this days,I'm either chatting or playing maple..no life at all..well theres some good news,my mom is sick being under my uncle control and decided to open a food stall at marine parade block 80..Wow.wellshe's so excited I really dont wanna ruin her mood so I've been giving more positve remarks lately ^^ its kinda like a family business again=..=' . Oh well hope the food taste great..lolx
I really need to get a start on my homework so I'd be either online in the morning till 12 then in the evening from 10..I'm a night person so maybe later...this is my homework

• Maths holiday assignment 1
• Maths holiday assignment 2
• English reading ((2 novels)
• 1 leter writing
• 1 letter writing on a desinged book mark
• and more maths

god...this is a little fcukstrating...well gotta get a move on Bye pple

love

I hate it.I hate it when the give me the look,the look of pitty and ashamed.The look of annoyance I just hate it so much that I really want to scream.
I hate it.I hate it when people see me as a slob.A worthless addicted geek.I so want to trow some chairs or anything that can cause pain at them.
I hate it.I hate it when people give no self respect to me or to themself.I do my best to gain it but they well usually take advantage of me.The taste of beating the fcuking crap out of them is so close and smells so sweet.
You the worst part of this all?I can do anything bout it.If I throw tanthrum,they call me a spoiled dramatic brat.If I talk things out,the call me a wuss and making a mountain out of a mole hill..So all I can do is to bottle myself up,vent my stress to some good friends and forget everything by playing games..How sweet.. off

Bottle

Urgh**flops**man today was so tiring.had to work at semei..Wow,its been actually a long time since i've been/work there hahaz!well anywayz..Almost everything was in a mess coz the main leader of the group who was suppose to "jaga"the wedding had to send something to ANOTHER wedding...=..=' god knows how then I became the ""leader/supervisor""** big quote**tried to do as much things as I could to repay what I did last 2 weeks ago.then when the leader came back,well things went almost smooth and slow and then when I was top-uping the beef tray,I lose my grip on the tray and it fell,cutting my finger in the process...well anyway the place was in a mess and I didnt realise that my finger was bleeding badly but when I did,I was like "omigee"was it with water but my finger was too oily and the blood keep bleeding,ask a collegue to give me a plaster..
I think it was a deep wound but it didnt hurt.A little stingy but didnt hurt..took some moments to rest and tried to continue as much as possible..then bout 3/7 people had to go..leaving with bro, an aunty and me..gosh i had to do all the clearing meaning putting all the stuff on side and all that...thank god there was another guy who came with my mom when the wedding was over or I'd faint...came back home at 6.45,smelly and covered with dalca and kuah daging..urgh..so good to have a cold shower..not that cold though =X**disapointed**
Watched "lilo & stich 2,stich has a glitch"really heart moving and cute.finally I'm playing the com,wondering what time do I have to go to school tomorrow..Ok byes!

dozing off

I'm losing my faith and hope day by day..A good friend told me to keep my faith and pray to god but bad habits die hard..but I'll keep trying..I'm losing hope of myself and my future..Family probs ,peer pressure and expectation..I felt miserable when Mr Jae looked down on my drawing...I saw the look in his eyes..the feeling of disgust. Twice..could say much,maybe I didnt focus on it too much so I'll leave it like that..I know i keep typing it but i hate it..I hate falling..it hurt so badly that you've could have atleast top it but you didnt..trying to fit in to society.Trying not to look weird..showing the rest that I can run.I can win.but i cant.my family keep fighting non stop...and help trying to be involved.

losing grip