i take it back..I thought I was over reacting...but it wasnt true..now i know that what are my friends really are...jerks...someone who dont know where to stop...I hate this type of people...eventhough they care but right noe I just want to move far away....somewhere pretty distant...maybe then they'll know my true value??so to the S5 screw your mother fucking gruop with shit!there thats it

now miss yuen..your a bitch..a really annoying Bee with a great big itch!yup,yuo did not inform me that i had to do summery and now ur barking like a mad dog??screw u!!reallyyou expect to finish up all my work in a nite??wad about my other studies and hm...all i know is your heartless...totally heartless

maybe thats what we are deep inside..it depends if we want to show it....

hahaha! i'm like soo bored here..I'm blogging from school coz its raining heavily rite now so cant get home..a little nervous coz I'm not so sure if I'm a loud to use the com in the cousel room ^^"newayz..i suppose being alone at times is better..wel it gives you some time to think.I know I do have friends but the thing is...I dont know how to be a good 1,maybe i should play in the rain like every1 else??I know how an ass hole I can be but trust me,I'm trying to change myself to a better person hopefully.....lol newayz dun care bout most thing now days haha hopefully it be better 2morrow

had the student investiture just now...heart sank when everyone cheered for the rest except me.I thought the could care less but then why were they screaming so loud for them but i could here a cheer for me...I''m completely useless...i know people curse me,talk about me behind my back..fuck it..i even got couselling sessions with ms krisnan..the only sc member to have counselling ...shit it lah...you guys may ask y do i but sobs stories in here when I'm up and chirpy..well..I leave my sadness for today all in 1 post..its kept in the back of my head so I wont think much of but I'll come back time to time...thats why I hate it..I hate myself,I hate myslef for losing control,I hate myself for being arrogant,I hate myself for freezing up my heart,I hate myself becoz I trust others too much.....in short i just hate myself

heart ache,stomache ache,tooth ache,wallent ache and head ache..all in 1 day can you believe it??

stomach ache is simple didnt eat from morning until 3.55,got 5 mins to finish up my food...diao
I had a tooth ache from morning till now..it randomly poops up and give a stab at my gums...ouch
wallent ache coz i over spent my daily budget...argh
had headache at the end of the day but it disapeared when i had a rehersal for tommorow's assembly..cant tell you what is it about ya gotta find it your self
heart ache...seems like I've becoming distant from everything...i well feel left out on everything...i sux dont i??
it hurts when i see frens like my sisters are hurt,fatin and nisha
Fatin..i'll say 1 thing.....YOU ARE NOT USELESS NOR A NOBODY!!!!okif your useless,i dont think you can manage the maths amazing race nad be a cool fren..trsut me on tt
NISHA..I know it smart when ur frens leave you,i can tell from experience ok..make it worst,others avoid you over a matter...
both of you should chin up..I'm the ne should be calling useless coz ...I'm not sure of my hm,never do it to a extent and never there for you guys...what big brother am I???

ok so 3 post in 1 day...rite..so took a test..i want to show u guys where my soul is born and made up of..

used to be:"Your soul was born in the Ocean. The true daydreamer. Your element is Water. You're calm and collected, just like Earth, but unlike Earth you love to daydream. You love to create a world of your own and just drift away in daydreams. You observe but you rarely interfere. You don't like large crowds, but you have a few friends and you're not afraid of making more as long as you don't have to take the first step. You're careful to pick your words and you hate to hurt people. You are very easily hurt yourself and if someone harms you or your friends in any way, you will probably never trust that person again. You need to face the world. You can't hide in your dreams forever. Don't give up just because something didn't go as you planned! More chances will come. "

now:"Your soul was born in Ice. Some might think that water and ice is the same, but that's not true. Ice is what becomes of water when water gets hurt. Your element was once water, but something happened and your element turned to ice, which resulted in you soul being born in ice. Maybe someone close to you died or someone close to you betrayed you in some way. Either way, you are now a completely different person from who you were before. You are now shy and drawn back. You want people to notice you but youre afraid to make friends. You don't want to be hurt again. Depressed and mournful thoughts is eating you up inside. You want to scream but you just keep holding it all inside in fear of being rejected. Take a chance! There's people out there and they want to be friends with you. "

enough said...

heres a strory from mr jae...i chose his coz he's an idol to..he amazes me always when i read your blog and i just went through his archive and i saw this article he wrote and mr jae if ur reading this is for you ^_- btw its 2005/last year's stories
"KNIGHT
The following is a metaphor. Go figure.He stood ready. Years of training and fighting would not have prepared him better. He has won countless battles and wars. But this would be the toughest fight he would ever have to fight. This was a battle against himself.His dull silver armour was not a reflection of untidyness. The lacklustre armour has oxidized from the many years of use and from the countless blood that had splattered on it from numerous battles.One look at the greyish armour and any seasoned warrior will know this was no ordinary knight. This was a worthy opponent.The man inside the armour sighed. He never does. But this time he had to.The sound of metal rubbing against metal cut through the air as he whisked his sword out of his sheath. He took up his ready stance."God, I don't want to do this."Then it appeared. Like an angel from heaven it formed out of thin air. Her features were delicate with porcelain complexion. Her shoulder length hair cascaded freely like some dark mystical dark waterfall. There she stood, angelic from every angle, beauty personified.He remembered the other qualities that had so captivated him and gave him sleepless nights. His heart warmed with a glow that he had always felt when he thought about her."How can something so beautiful pose a threat to me?"His heart wanted to drop his sword and embrace this vision. He wanted more than anything to bare his heart to her. But his beliefs and conscience would never stand for this. The battle has began. He stood for ages, with the tide of battle wavering inside him.In the end, logic prevailed. The choice was made. With all the strength he could muster, he swung his blade high and deliver a death blow to the apparition, hoping to kill it and end his agony.The blade came down hard and struck the lady. Pain bursted into his heart. The man of steel fell to the ground on his knees. He could barely support his weight on the blade. There was the metallic taste of blood in his mouth."I didn't know she has taken root in my heart. So deep."He climbed back up to his feet and there was the alluring beauty looking at him with a smile brighter than a thousand suns."How can I bear to strike something as beautiful as the dawn of each new day?"But somehow, he gathered steel in his heart and brace himself for another strike. This time, he was ready for the pain. Stroke after stroke, like a dancer with a blade he struck the woman again and again. Leaping, turning, swinging, every cut and thrust was the prefect result of years of training.Each time, he closed his eyes just before the sword make contact. Each time, pain erupted in his heart and spreaded to his entire being. Each time, he gritted his teeth in agonising pain. He swore he could have bite through steel.After countless strokes and thrusts, exhausted from the exertion and stricken with pain, he stopped. There was blood all over his armour. His own blood. Kneeling on one knee with one hand on his blade, he looked up."She's still there. How deep is she in my heart?"He screamed. One bored out of frustration, anger, bitterness and hopelessness. The girl was still smiling at him. There was no sign of all the slashes and heavy blows that the knight had delivered. She was still perfect in every sense."She has to die. There is no other way. It had to be."As he tried to stand, he collapsed again in a heap."She has to die but not today. I'm too tired." With that last thought, he slipped into unconsciousness.We cannot control how we feel at times.

Emotion is a strange thing. We cannot even control who or what we like. Desires can spring up like wild fires.But we have a choice about what we do when those fires come up. We always have a choice. Life is about the choices you make. Not about what happens to you. You can have the worst things happen to you but still lead a life better than others"


"FRIENDS

Whoever said that my blog is MNM-MustNotMiss blog ... erm ... thanks?!? Hahaha! I really don't know what else to say. Hmmmm ...Shihui, thanks once again for leaving those beautiful words in the tagboard. I really enjoy teaching the sec 1 this year. In fact, I'm always proud to tell others, students or teachers, that I'm your teacher! Hahaha! And I do love 1N1 and 1N2. I think they are both very special classes this year.I read the following extract somewhere recently:
He turned to her. "I am a stranger. You do not need to lie to me or pretend. Only with friends do you need masks.""How sad," she said softly."surely it is only with friends that one can be at peace.""It's easier with strangers, for they only touch your life but for an instant. You will not disappoint them, for you owe them nothing; neither do they expect anything. Friends you can hurt, for they expect everything."
I hate to agree with the above but somehow, it does ring true.I do have friends whom I'm honest with. Honest as in being true to myself. They see the real Jae for all it's worth. Maybe it's also because I'm too old to play such games. I'm usually who people often see. I'm not afraid to let people see my fears and my doubts. This is Jae. Take it or leave it. If you are offended by me, then stay away. Hahaha! Otherwise, we can party together with the gift of life given by the Creator Himself.But I do observe this in my students and the lives of so many people around me. There are always expectations when it comes to friendships.We expect them to spring surprises on our birthdays, console us when we are down, press in even when we do not want to talk about our troubles, read our minds when we ourselves don't know what we want, be there, be always there and be forever there! Hahaha!So perhaps it's true we are more careful about the things we say or the side of us whom we choose to show when we are with our friends. Not a very good existence isn't it? I mean it's never good to wear masks. Cause when we are alone and we take it off, our hearts will ache from the acting we did earlier. Our hearts will also ache from withholding the real us.Perhaps it's really easier for us to talk to strangers who have zero expectation of us and even if we disappoint them, what do we care? Perhaps that's why people would pay thousands of $$$ to talk to a stranger once a week to seek therapy for their 'troubles'.I've learnt to manage my expectations of people. Seldom am I hurt beyond repair. I mean I do get disappointed and discouraged at times but I've learnt that when you don't put expectations on people, you don't get hurt. Then again, you also developed this uncanny attitude that others shouldn't put any expectations on you.I don't expect my friends to celebrate my birthday for me. They can forget it and my life will still cruise on at the speed of light. And for that, I don't remember people's birthdays too. I don't even bother or attempt to try to remember. Because I don't expect them to.I don't put expectations on others and I don't want others to expect that of me. My contrived pathetic defence mechanism? Maybe. Self preservation is afterall, a human instinct.But one thing is true for me. I don't bare my soul to strangers. Neither do I do that to friends often enough. I don't bare my soul to people. Period. I've learnt to be independent and cope without the need for others. Note that I used 'cope' and not 'survive'. Why? Because the truth is we all NEED people. It's another human trait. No man is an island.If I were to live the earlier years of my life again, I would change that. I would be less independent, rely more on friends, build less walls, erect lesser defence mechanisms and be weaker.I would change the way I shape my heart. I would put less steel in it and allow it to break more often. I should have continued to build expectations of my friends and even allow them to disappoint me. At the same time, I should allow them to hold expectations on me. I should have trusted my Keeper to heal my heart each time it break so that it can be broken again and again.The boy who stays inside his castle and never goes out to play will never be harmed. He will never fall from the swing or break his arm while attempting to climb a tree. He would never drown swimming in the river or be biten by snakes or mawed by vicious bears or insane canines. He would be very safe. But where's the fun in all that?"


"Before you read the story, let me update you on my illness. I saw a doctor this afternoon cause my nose was leaking yellowish green liquid. Yeah I squirmed too.Apparently, my sinus is infected and it's quite bad. In fact, the left side of face is riddled with such pain I could barely sleep the whole of last night.Oh well, I'm on antibiotics now and the doctor say I should be ok in five days? FIVE days!!!That teaches you to see a doctor once you are ill. Hahaha! Sigh.Supposed to be on MC tomorrow but I think I need to go back to school to give out the English papers to my class. Will seehow.Hope you enjoy the following story.

The Fisherman & Mermaid

James was always sure of himself and his beliefs. He takes pride that life was by and large black or white for him. There were no grey areas or blurred lines. He had always lived by his principles.The decision was unavoidable. It was the stormy season again. Already, several good fishermen had lost their lives out at sea, leaving behind aging mothers or wives with several smaller mouths to feed.The merfolks have helped save more from losing their lives. They would always rescue lone fisherman by hurling them back to shore when they were shipwrecked. Sometimes, they would attract the attention of the villagers on the shore so that help could be sent to others who were stranded on rocks or caves.It was the selfless acts of these merfolks that made the village chief decide."It's the logical decision, my dear villagers. We can strike a partnership with the merfolks. They can guide us through the storm to bring help to anyone who could be caught in a storm beached somewhere far from home.""But why would they do that Chief? For nothing in return?""Yeah, there must be black magic involved in all these! We'll all lose out souls!""Stop your superstitious blabber Joanna!" the chief snapped. "I've offered them some of the stone tools that might be helpful to them. They don't really have the skills to make those tools."James, for being one of the best fisherman in village, was then chosen to be the first to partner with a merfolk to form a rescue team. He couldn't have rejected.Ariel was nothing James expected. She looked way too young to be good at anything. Her black straight hair was very different from the usual merfolks. They usually have blond wavy hair.He questioned why it was a mermaid and not a merman. The answer he got was she was the best they have to offered. Apparently she graduated from their merfolk school with flying colours.And so their training regime started. James was instantly shocked that Ariel was so serious in her training. He would never have guessed that she could be so meticulous and diligent from her sweet looks.Everyday, his respect for her began to grow. It was not just all work. Ariel was as playful as any teenage girl would be. Perhaps even more than most girls would be."James!" There was no one there when he turned around in his boat."James!" Again, she was gone in a flash. She entered the water without making a single sound. She was good. And she enjoys toying with her human partner."James!" This time he expected where she would come up from and sprayed his nets in that direction."Get it off me! Get it off me!""I'm sorry. I didn't know it would affect you that much.""We hate nets! They are worst thing anyone could ever make!" And then she was gone.One thing about the merfolks is that they never take things to heart since they were such a free people. They soon became good friends. James would look forward to the conversation they have each evening while the sun gets swallowed up by the big blue sea.It was during one of those conversations that he learnt about Triton. He was one of Ariel's classmates."So you talked to him over great distances?""We call it sea talk. We speak short sentences into the mind of the person we wish to talk to.""That's how you merfolks communicate in the waters?""Yup! You can't expect us to speak like now right? We'll be bubbling and gurgling!"They both laughed."So you love him?""I don't know ... but we talked every night."It was also during one of those conversations that he first felt anything for her."Your mum did what?""She beached herself on one of the offshore islands. They found her dead body. It showed signs of dehydration and she was only metres away from the waves."His heart went out to her. James had grown up in a great family with a wonderful mother. Ariel had not had that privilege."Did you cry?""I don't why, I couldn't. Oh well. I'm ok."The storm was like nothing the villagers had ever seen. It was also inevitable that this was the storm where a potential tragedy could take place.It was also the first time that the partnership between a fisherman and a mermaid would be put to the test."Quick James! I've found them! Follow me and be careful not to get capsized!"And so she led him to the caves where the teens were stranded. He could smell the fear and fright that they were in. They just couldn't stop shivering. The girls were crying."It's ok girl. You will be home in no time. Come onboard. Hush hush! Don't cry."It was then when he heard her say the same thing to comfort another girl."Don't be afraid. We are here to send you home. Your parents are waiting for you. Be strong for them."It must have been the sight of her holding the hands of the diminutive girl and guiding her unto the boat. Or it was the fact that his admiration for her had been growing each day. Perhaps it was the fact that she was so uniquely different. So special and different from every other girl he has ever known.There and then, he crossed the line. He knew that love will never blossom between a human and a mermaid. It was not only forbidden. It was impossible.But it was too late. His world was no longer in black and white. She has added a mirage of colours and life has become more beautiful than it was.They brought the teens home safe and sound. The village was elated and threw a party to thank the both of them. But it doesn't matter to James at all. He couldn't get Ariel out of his mind since the night of the rescue. He was always thinking of her, what she was doing, where she was and who she was with.At the party, he also found out that she really liked Triton. She only had eyes for him. And no matter how much James loves her, he could never change the fact that humans and mermaids are never meant to be together.The villagers woke up one day and found out that James had left the village. Nobody knows where he went. Ariel came looking for him but there was no note, no hint as to where he might have gone. She only noticed that the nets in his boat was in shreds. "

gave sometime to myself yesterday....i got a backstage pass to ANUGERAH PLANET MUZIK last night...so wad else i went there...was pretty cool and all but pratically I had no frens so I was kinda bored....I saw alot of superstars..they were pretty nice to me ^^I got a chance to talk to Taufik Batisah and alsothe anugerah boys!!took photos of 'em together haha too bad I dont have a scanner eh?late after the concert the superstars had their supper and I also managed to get 6 autograph!!!lol...went home at 2 am O.O tired like hell...had a bad dream wont tell you all

had to wake up at 8 coz I had to go to a conference at down town east...talk about two types of crisis...hiv+ / aids and also terrorism...the lectures soooooooooo*1000 freaking boring..i drew something and then got a mega sugar rush coz i drank 7 cups of punch =x no further comments..I was like laughing with sean all the way to the end...told some terrorist joke to each other and did some stupid stuff....finished at 3...then bought food from MC and take away...ate with Ronney,Sean,Gabriel...we all walked home after that..form Pasir Ris...ironic eh we talk dirty jokes and acted stupid all the way....then a jogger bumped at Ronney for no reason that gave him the"ur going to die" look..we were like wtf??wads wrong with him...newayz came home at 5.30 O_o......pretty long..ironicly I left my drawing book with garbriel... diao

I know I've changed to the wuzzup sabri to the "go to hell"sabri..I dont know whats wrong with me....I know you all hate me..I can see it in your faces..how irritated you all are with..maybe deep inside..I feel left out..maybe what mdm Fauziah said was true..I'm insecure.....I dont know but please bear with me if you can or atleast forgive me...I know no1 will forget..I wont too... and suhaimi happy b-dae

just missunderstood

I'm leaving...I've had enough being second or left out in the dark...I dont care wht you guys think of me anymore...FUCK IT this is my life...you guys to be frank are starting to be a thorn in my butt...from a respected person to a nobody....the malay communitee hates me?!wtf....well i got nothing to say....you say i bully you suhaimi,keep picking on you??well who started it??wasnt me thats for sure....I tried to be nice and keep forgetting what you guys did to me but heck what do you guys CARE..I'm a fucking extra to you guys right...a nobody anymore...fatin it aint your fault nor do I want to bully you....fuck it man I'm actually crying...all the thing I help you guys all well flushed I supposed...I know how about we mess my head somemore??would it be fun for you all??I know you shitholes like messing m my feelings and trust so do it again......
listen up...from now on I've got nothing to do you any of the malay communitee...ya happy...a less ass hole in the group...a ass who literally help you guys but who gives a damn....

loner..always

I'm not gonna tell you about my np camp,how tired I was nor how irritated I was at that time;if you want to know talk to me.I'm gonna talk about my leadersip qualities,I'm lucky....I dont know how I became a leader,a chairman...I'm not responsible,I'm not mature....people dont look up to me....I feel as if I want to give up right now,right this momment...I wanna quite.I'm not kidding...I'm useless,not relieable...this whole weekend make me realise that I've dont have what it taked nor that factor to be a leader.....time and tme again,incidents have showed me that...I dont know what to say....maybe I want to go back to being lazy,care-free,go out with my uncle and family,not being worked up,blay truant...I dont know.

just lost for words

*yawns*hey sorry for not posting sooo freaking tired coz had the sec1 camp.I was a CI and I hate it...
e sec 1 had attitude prob,thry didnt want to listen nor respect us,didnt come on day 1 coz i had service day came later in the day...I was kinda confused at first I was like what was I to do...hey hello!then I.amos(2e3),fadhly,shikin,Nataira or nat,lol easier to pronounce no offence,irriyanna(sp?)(sorry) became e litter squad or little squad,who knew we did so much job.-_____-"

lunch time:had to wait till the sec 1 ate,but before that had to do inspection..they mop and sweep as if "argh lazy lar,tired sia"all of them had that look when I ask them to clean up they didnt listen,what was I ghost..fed up with 1 of e boys who were suppose to clean up the place...he said"eh u so good u do it lar" I was lke gonna slap his face but I cant,first,Its very rude,and if he complains to his parents I'm done for so I kept quite...

blind mice trail:it was around 10.pm if I'm rite...I had nothing tyo do so I walked around then Mr. Jae pops up and say"hey sabri you lead them on the blind mans trail ok?"I was totally lost!!!
i didnt know wad to do but he said "here's a map just turn left and bring them around the station till the second floor."I was like "if you trust me then why not"so I did what I was suppose to do...still lost but got a hang of it..I told them to keep quite and respect the nite but the didnt listen,1 even slaped my mouth =X diao neways I could tell they were scared,their hands were shacking like hell...I finished it then wanted to R.O.C(relax 1 conner) but Mr jae said"eh,you do it again..dun worry last time la"I was like "sure but can I scare the living hell of them"i ask.he was like ok no prob so I did..I the group was ok but 1 girl didnt respect me at all,kept helling me to go to hell and shut up so I said "your gonna regret it"then at the first station,they had to do an obstical course I blowed the girl's har,he scream hahahahahahaha it was sooo funnydid over and over again but i didnt forget the others...I noticed the first girls's hand was shaking like hellI told her"realz,i respect the night,no harm will be done on you"or something like thatsecond ! was food tasting...lol hilarious..the C.I acting like demons and all of us scared the girl..to funny,i stabed all my fingers and said I was biting her.LOL she refused to open her mouth so we said"you dont open your mouth and ur be staying here fo ever"lol didnt know wad happened next all I could remember was when e sec 1were soppusr to take off their blind folnd al e CI came to her faced and made ghostly faces and she opened her blind fold...She had a shcokof the life!!!the whole school and hear her screaming lol lol lol lol lol lol*5 it was funny then she go and jab her elbow to my eyes.argh!! the pain no la kidding

brieffing:it was about 12.30 when we had the briefing..when we complained about e sec 1 mr jae got fed up with us..wanna apologise to you Mr jae if ur reading this....selpt at 2 am.....

2nd day:had morning excercise..all e C.I were doing it but alot of the sec 1 didnt do it nvm...had only bread but that kept the little squad going till lunch..I help out a station during the interactive game session..meet 1 on Ronny's friend,ask him to buy me a 1.5 drink....

feild cooking:ent about lighting up and teaching sec 1 how to cook outdoors...e first bacth was good,the second batch went to botanical gardens..from what I heard,it was hell in the making anyway back to story....the didnt clean the mass tins properly nevermind a comman mistake,but the just dump the remaining food everything like that...so logiclally the bag burst argh wad a mess!!clean it up with my hands didnt care i wasa soo dirty but then I had to clean the trolly in the showers..the bag burst when we carried the bag to trolly..by then the second batch arrived...they had a shower when came back...i didnt care was very troublesome coz the trolly couldnt fit in the cubicle so had to scrap all the god blasting crap out before doing anyhting...while doing that jas's bro also called jas insulted me and indirectly to the C.Is.....i didnt bother but they kept saying vulgarities and calling me cleaner..I yelled at them "IF YOU SAY SOMEORE VULGARITIES i'LL PERSONALLY GET MR.JAE IN HERE"everyone kept quiet...comtinued with my job but when I got out they yeled again,heard 1 cursed me..told the seniors ad the little squad, they ask "why u never scold them" they told MR. jae they didnt believe them,so I went and tell him...then the second batch got a hell of a scolding...I laughed...i wanted to tell them in their face"i told you so".I repect Mr. Jae,he said"if you say or hurt any of my C.Is,I will personally bash you up,I dont care if I lose my job,they take their time to help me with the camp so you better repect them or I'll send you home in the middle of the night" I think some did went home...well serve them rite

campfire:literally I was like a on and off button..on time happy then no mod,happy,no mood ended up being emo fer sometime...was fun seeing the S.C.I trowing the kerosine bomb to ligt the camp thought it was awsome...I think that was e main highligt of the night..i think.

2nd briefing:Mr jae gave the autherity to scold them and punish them got the sec 1 06 camp shirt,pretty awsome comparing to ad the sec 1's had

early morn,3rd dae:before anything Mr. Alsogoff gave the sec 1 60 pumps we all laugh at them.had to prepare their breakfast and cleanup...that was mainly it

later:went to eat KFC with little squad,julia,shuhada,hafizwe talked about dirty jokes =P,went home

next dae,hiking pinnacle expedition: several off us got into teams and went off,I was tired like hell but I pushed myself..walk from school then to holy trinityand then es which was pretty near home...then walk on a unused road by P.I.E,there aint no pavement so tricky to alk and dangerous....we head to changi prison..then me and 2 sec4/3 ncc boys lead the way to the next checkpoint to realise that we missed the right route..we were a km away so took a etour a long walk.passsed by pretty impressive house with alot of dogs..prisillia said they were cute but in fact they were barking as if the want to bite our heads off!! =x no commebts went to loyang valley then down town east....long walk..very long walk..had a break at Mcdonald,continued to pasir ris town park and then sun plaza...talk stupid all the way lolz!!finally finished the hike..went home n fell asleep on the bus..was soo tired...

feeling rite now:pissed
why:one of my bes fren hack to my maple acc I trusted him,he took some rare stuff...jas said he could be trusted..should have listened to him...fed up rite now.....gotta bathe,I smell.little bro poop at my hand....cleaned it away,but just t mae sure

byes

this might be my last post for 2 weeks..I'll be very busy ok.I'bve got 2 3night,2days camps and also speach day marching but that isnt bugging me,I've got a freaking bad feeling this whole week,I dunno why..did I offend somebody?did something wrong?maybe skool is catching up and also the old me...I feel sick sometimes...this friday,tomorrow not only I have to go to sec1 camp which is fine,I have to go to NPCC,which is from 3 to 6 and I'll be in full-U going around the neighbourhood about crime prevention..yeah its kinda crappy but theres always a firt for everything....thinking if I should give up on everything...i dont know,all I do know there will be trouble coming thats all...

thinking