hey guys, sorry la nvr update 1 month freaking lazy la.....k so theres the sec 1 camp last fri till sun.I dunno la wheather it was crud or a good one.


1st day
nothing much actually.It was the whole introductary of the camp and all those stuff.Than came the human checkers.Pretty much hectic and seriously I dont like some of the sec 1's attitude.Some are taking things for granted.Never mind that la.Hmm the main event was the Blind Mans Trail but before it started I fell and had an impact on my head,which was freaky because I stop at a wet area but than just fell like that nvm la so anyway,Gabriel and I were suppose and yet again alot of cocky bastard think they knew everything.I swear if they were some of the CIs they'd shit in their pants seeing and feeling what happened that night.after the 1st round I could take it anymore because I had alot of head aches which was freaky coz the impact on my head was that hard.So Gabriel ask See Wee send me to sick bay.Mr Teng and Mdm Teo sended me home coz it was late.

2nd Day
came back around 3 plus which was rather late to me cause alot of the sports event had finished by than and it made me feel guilty coz alot of people were tired and I wasnt.There was field cooking and surprisingly the sec 1s were not so slenge..hehes.The main even was the Campfire which was awesome!but the fire pit could be bigger though.Seems like Mr Jae planned everything seriously espesially the safety things.we all had a blast and no one got hurt haha.than clear up some mess and off to the showers.Not many ppl at the time coz most of the guys a group leaders which mean they have to leave late which means the toilet was free for the 6 of us-gabriel,ron,yong keong,suhaimi,gou yan and me!than slack in the quaters coz no more job fer us and had to wait for meeting.


3rd final day
Telematch was hectic!alot of ppl almost choked at the mentos n flour..I was so scared and knew some of the kids couldnt finish and was choking no choice..did one mistake in the rulebook.I didnt check her mouth throughly and ask her to go to water cooler.Pretty much impressed with some groups worked together for the "united we move"leg race. after the camp I and samantha with the help of Mr Teng went to the old folks home near Junyuan primary and donate left over foods.Seems that we ordered too much.Dont want to through it away so go donate lo...haiz after that i and sam went to KFC,but she had to go so she tapau while i eat there with Azri,Gou yan and su..Walau we talk crap sia..mostly about ghost.

after eating said good bye to one another and left.Slept all the way lol. thats pretty much it oh yeah making a mtv of Famous last words..get ready to watch its gonna be a bang!

"So,You gotten anyone in mind for Valentine?"The gentle,soft voice ask the brunnete hair teenager.HeI turn around to see her.

The girl was the dearest friend He ever had.The girl who went thick and thin with him.Yet after all these years,he still dont know her so much,she never hang orund with him so much these days.She'd always so"I'm so sorry.I'm busy today,maybe another day"the voice said in flashback."Hey Ash,you there?"the gentle,soft voice him woke up from his flashback.He shook his head."Well you better find one soon,or else you be the odd one out"she said with a smile as she paused and looked at her white leather watch with silver rims."Look I got go,lunch is almost over and I should be heading back to class"she sat.

Ash just gave her a wave showing goodbye.He really didnt feel like talking to anyone that day.It was only days away from valentine,and I didnt have a date for that special day.To me,valentine's day was nothing special.After three years of hoping someone would ask him out which they never did and now,it was his final year in secondary school,he wasnt looking forward to the day.

Yet deep down he was hoping for a change" This year its gonna be different."He promised himself.He was going to ask her out.How?The young man wasnt sure but he was going to give a try.

The day after,a day before valentine's day,He went to Minni Toons,a gift shop at Tampines Mall hoping to find a gift for her.The whole mall was crowded with different kinds of people with the same goal.

Find a gift for valentine's day.

So after squezing through here and there's Ash managed to get to the gift shop.As expected,the shop was crowded with teens my age search through racks of plushies,dolls,candies and and colourful and akward key chains.He tried searching for 'the right' gift for her by keeping in mind of buying the same thing which had her personality,her charactor.Sweet,adorable and natural.Ash couldn't find such a gift so he decided to buy her a box of chocolates pakaged in a heartshape and wrapped nicely with a red ribbon.

As he went out of the shop something caught his dark hazel eyes.

A baby slyfester plushie.He remembered her wanting the doll so much but both of them didnt has the money. He took out his wallet from hsi back pocket and took what ever money he had left and went to the shop.

The next day,He brought his presents all kept in a red bag.He tried talking to her but he was always interupted by her fans.When he did finally get a chance to speak to her and give her the present,all she said was"Thats so sweet of you.I know its hard to find all this stuff and forking your money just like that just for me but its best if we just be friends or better still dont know each other".As the girl he loved turned away,hot tears came rolling down his cheecks.That was all said and done.They never talked t each other and thought they'd never meet until exactly five years later.

Ash was looking for some boxes of chocolates at "The Chocolate Empire" as presents for his little sister's 3rd birthday.As he reached for a box of Merci he accidentally touched someone's elses hand who was also reachign for the same box.Instantly he regonised the young lady's face."Hayely?Is that you?"He asked with so much hope.

"Ash?Oh my gosh is that actually you?You look so different"She said with awe.

"Hey,NS can change a man"He said sheepishly as he rubbed his tainted red hair."So hows it been?"He asked.

"Well alot of things happen,I was just shopping for a present for my cousins birthday present.He's turning three this year"She said with glee."You"she asked.

"The same thing,I mean not for your cousin but for my sister,she's also turning three"he said with a laugh.He decided to take a chance."Hey theres a cafe around the corner.Care for a cup of coffee?My treat"He said with a gentleman gesture to Hayley.

"Sure,why not"she said.

And thats all was said.The last I heard the two got married months later.Seems like both never did got over the other.Thats life for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18xQqZLPvS0

urgh..Theses days no mood to blog.Sorry to all.Its just that everyday I wake up,I just feel I'm gonna get screwed and true enough,I always do.Cant avoid it.Been really busy lately so all I want to do is just sleep.Everythings killing me softly,from the way people behave to the way i behave to them.Everythings just crushing deep down.Its ironic,I swore I'd never be this kind of person,I suppose I changed,for the better and for the worst.I know why I changed.I have to adapt to my surrounding,or else,I'll never survive.I'm pushing myself step by step but keep looking back day by day.The day just seems to repeat itself.Kinda sickening.Haha.

K.umm starting love core geo and getting lost in maths.Seriously if you one day skip maths its good luck to you seriously..hahax.Hmm bio on the under hand is hanging on a metal wire.I can get a good hold of it but never a great grasp."If you dont understand bio,You dont understand your body"I suppose not.I dont understand myself these days.I get frustrated so damn easily.Another reason I dont want to go to school some times.Not on purpose but so that I wont hurt anyone and wont see her.

Her.The girl that I loved.The girl who fell in love with the other guy.I backed out bcoz I didnt want to be the third party.Now whenever I see her,my heart aches.I try to avoid her.I try to avoid all feelings i had for her.God the feeling just stabs you in the back.If ya notice I got "behind these hazel eyes"explains everything and yeah i have dark hazel eyes..well most of us actually.

V-day,nothing much to expect after 3 years hoping someone would give me a v-day greeting,haha.why should they?most people think i'm a jack ass.Hah.how terrific.Newayz seriously dont expect anything.Seems like no one care newayz.

Talking bout me not caring and all whats with calling me emo?nothin to do is it?.I just have random mood swings and tend to be depress.But please calling me emo for 9 hrs each day?wtf like you all are preps and never experience depression?weird right?Seriously,this group and clique calling must stop I repeat.This group and cliques calling must be stopped! I wont die so easily neither do I want to give.I found something to keep myself moving on.The will itself to live. with that I leave a saying.a real meaningful one

"If you die just like that so easily,nothing will be done,it'd still be the
same as you left.But if you carry one living,life will change because every day
things change.We change,for the better for the worst up to us.Thats why I'll
keep on living.I want to see this changes"

Being 15 sucks.I hate it.Why should I be one..no one gives a damn.I'm freaking invisible.At school everyone just gave late greeting to me.Some people think I'm an asshole.They find fault with me on my birthday.They would compare me and my friend.They make me feel sour by talking about their steads and relationships and by showing what they got fro their birthday when I got nothing.I hate it.Been such a frustrating day.so many things I didnt get to finish.Mr Jae's gonna kill me..I swear to god.I accidentally hurt one of my friends when I was frustrated.I really got to appologies to him.I'm in a mess and I dont know what to do.I'll always say,I'd do it tomorrow but I never do it.Frustrating god dammit.If my past came back I dont think they'd like what they'll see.I'd be horrified.I'd be if I saw myself in such a state.I hate myself,I hate what I've become,I hate how my friends are treating me,I hate being in 2007.I wan to go back to the past or skip a year.I dont want to entertain this rubbish.Its killing me inside.

moodless so off bye

todays my birthday..butits not spectacular and actually in the end of the day.Had to wake up at 8 coz i had an npcc meeting at 10.There i got greeted happy birthday which is rather unusual coz its custom to get bashed by ur seniors..but i didnt..lol.went back home bcoz justin,karan and ong wee kiat came over to do geo projet..talked alot of crap as we did our project half way done.Slack at home than su called saying he wanted to go to the East cc to sign up for guitar lesson..I follow also la.So after that we went to a guitar/sports shop near buy.Got my guitar string and went home.lil bro help me with changing of the strings and tuning.Lucky me he learnt guitar lesson in school.What surprised me was my bro made me a grilled cheese sandwhich.WOAH my bro caring?TO me?more or less shockd la.Had a family dinner.To make up for forgetting my bdae..k this is the part I really wanna blow steam..angry like hell.
UR BLAMING ME OF SOMETHING i DIDNT DO.UR BLAMING ME BECOZ S FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM.UR BLAMING ME FOR NOT TELLING S MY FEELINGS FOR HER.UR BLAMING ME FOR INTRODUCING THEM.
They want to be friends i give booth their no. nothing wrong what they do next is their prob.but why do you say I'm backing out when its not my mess?Why are you calling me a coward.Why are you saying I'm heartless.I HAVE no heart becoz I fell in love with S.I loved her so much.God I cried when I people told me to face reality.But it was only when I realised that she's been flirting with him than i know she used me..do YOU even know the pain of that.
Do you understand the feeling of being used.Have you ever heard ur heart shatter to a million pieces when u saw the person u love walking itimadately with another.I did.I'm not saying thatI'm the only one. but for god sakes,your being un fair here.God Mr jae,Mr Chaw or anyone if ur reading this,tell me what to do.Its so frustrating to know that your being blamed for breaking ur ex crush's heart.She said he was so sweet to S.But I was infront of her face for about 2,3 months msgin her good night and she never noticed it.Did she know I made them for her.
god no mood to blog.nites all

This was suppose to be yesterday's post going along with the new blogskin..mom was in a bad mood.K the updates.The week kinda getting better but I could really use a waking up.I'm getting a hang of maths,my 1st essay for 2007 went out great.P.E long time since I had fun or worked out in this matter.Art is making me go urgh..i used to love art..but now getting so complicated,head ache.I suppose that should happen.Npcc..I think every thinks I'm a bastard.oh fuck..Its either I distract people or I cant do it properly.Gosh alot of my things are damaged.From my books to my bag.The scratches and cracks on my specs to my handphoneGosh i'm damaged physically and mentally too.lols....